Wandering in my mind

Feel free to skip this if you would like, as I am feeling a little low, after spending too much time since Monday trying to digest an unpalatable truth and this falls into the area of way too much information. I may or may not leave this up, but oddly enough, it helps my thoughts to put them down here.

My doctor wants me to consider what is called a PET, or percutaneous endoscopic gastrostomy. This is a tube that would lead directly into my stomach from the abdomen slightly above the waist. He feels that it is getting time to consider it, since I am having difficulty with swallowing, and this would allow me to still eat some orally, but when things are too rough, would ensure I still get sufficient nutrition. The up side is that he seems to feel that this is a long term sort of thing and that I have sufficient time to make use of it. The down side is that the idea of it horrifies me. Another invasive thing, taking away another part of me - the start of the end to meals with my family and another step down this road I am travelling. Cooking full meals for everyone else but only eating the soft parts myself was bad enough, but I wanted to at least make Thanksgiving intact, as the day and the meal together has always been a big thing for us.

I am sad and preoccupied, tired mentally and incapable of making a decision just now. I think I will just put this procedure behind one of the doors in my mind's corridor and leave it in there for a little while to allow myself time to come to terms with it. It's time to watch TV, read and spend time with family and friends for a while. Look for me in your blogs and thanks to those who stayed to the end of this ramble.

A quick trip to Red Deer on Friday and the final back to school first day new clothes are now looked after; lunch out; new runners; and joy of joys, a mammogram done. What fun. Another trip there Monday for the results and regular six month follow up. What an unexciting life I lead, as I wait for DH to come back from town with my Sunday newspaper.

I think barbeque for supper tonight, but the store was out of rib steaks, so I had to get t-bone steaks instead. I hope they turn out good. And sometime today I will finish the latest Minette Walters book I picked up "Fox Evil". She writes some great stories.

Hope your day is casual and unexciting as well as relaxing.

Last night there was a wind from the north passing through, and now the rest of my family says the yard stinks. DH believes a skunk has taken up residence under a shed on the north side of the yard. Before he left for work today, he asked if I could mow around the shed so he can check for trails and see if he can find out for sure if one is there. I am torn.

On one hand, I know that as long as you make some noise, they are not aggressive, and what makes more noise than a lawn mower. On the other hand, I am the person who took a cat I though was choking on something in to the vet, only to be asked to leave his office as "your cat has been sprayed by a skunk and now my whole office stinks". At least the vet knew the smell. I was the one that had to wash the porch floor and cat with tomato juice. And then wash the juice off the bathroom ceiling where the cat flipped it off her paws.

So today I will be cutting some longish grass, cause I don't want to bathe another cat in tomato juice. Anybody want a black and white sortakitty?

My 13 1/2 year old wants to apply for a weekend job as bus girl at Boston Pizza.

My 17 1/2 year old wants to accept a promise ring from her boyfriend of one and a half years.

I want to stop time so they don't grow any older.

Meme: Pick any 3 things that you remember from your kidhood (ages 0-18) and describe them. This could be anywhere from people you were around a lot, to a certain family vacation, to a certain moment that you remember. Be creative!

Bonus Question: Where did you grow up (location-wise)? Did you like it? Do you still live there? Why/why not?

1) I remember when I was about 5 or so, being in the kitchen with my mom while she was punching down the bread she was making. The kitchen windows had little wooden apple pulls on each one, and I was telling her I was going to eat her apples and pretending to take a bite out of one. She flew across the kitchen and caught me up and spun me around, laughing, and we both ended up covered in flour from her hands.

2) At 18, driving back to the motor vehicle office on a little Honda 200 motorcycle, knowing I had passed the driver test and would be getting my license. I still have that license and haven't been on a bike for over 20 years.

3) Coming home from school at 6 and finding a serviceman at the house installing the new black & white TV and antenna system. He finally got a show and it was a Mighty Mouse cartoon (Here I come to save the day, Mighty Mouse is on his way)and I have been hooked on television ever since. I still watch cartoons too.

Bonus: I grew up in Manitoba and when I was 22 I visited a friend in Calgary, Alberta. On the way home from that trip I considered my future, as I still lived with my parents, and saw that if I moved 60 miles from my home to Winnipeg, I would be home every weekend with my laundry (and my mom would do it) or I could move 700 miles away and do things myself. I ended up getting back, giving my job 2 weeks notice, renting a small uhaul trailer and moving to Calgary. There weren't a lot of times that I ever questioned my decision, and I did do it by myself.

Now it's your turn!

Do you stop at the local attractions when you travel? We do, even if it's just to take a photo. I have snaps of the giant coffee pot at Davidson, Sask, and the geese statues at Hanna, Ab, all with a family member close by. We actually have so many of this type of pictures, so I will share the giant coke can in Portage la Prairie, Mb.


Another odd photo to share is the following one of deer. They are small deer that live in a park in Portage, and you can feed them. As the photo shows, they love their bread, and are eager for a bite.


My final sharing today is this site: The Kittycat Dance. It's foolish, but it makes me laugh and that's not a bad thing.

Okay, so maybe I exaggerated a little on the distance I had to drive. It’s actually 700 miles from home to mom’s. We drove it on the Tuesday, and it took 13 hours. Believe me when I say the kids were being hustled at the pee breaks – and those were the only stops. Coming home we took two days and spent the night at a motel with a pool, sauna and hot tub for a lazy last night on the road. I always find I have more energy to get somewhere that I do after the vacation is over.

It was a great week, with lots of visiting. I was so happy to see mom. Her hearing has gotten worse so things were kinda loud sometimes. There was a day at the beach, one at the local Splash Island Pool, mom’s birthday supper, a little bit of shopping and the girls went to the movie The Devil Wears Prada. We managed to pack a lot into a week. This is Splash Island.

The night before we left, mom gave me a ring she has worn for over 60 years. When she got married in her youth, they didn’t have a wedding ring. Mom’s mom (my grandma) gave them her wedding band and mom has worn it since. In the normal course of events, it would have eventually come to me, but mom wanted me to have it now so I will be the third generation to wear it. It is the right size and fits perfectly with my own wedding rings. So eventually one of my girls will be left the symbol of their father’s love, and one will become the fourth generation to wear a plain gold band that has seen some strong women in it’s time. Can you tell I get all mushy and sentimental after a visit home? This is a picture of mom and me.

Anyway, lots to do now that we are back. It’s gonna take me a little time to catch up on everybody’s blogs. But it is good to be home.

So I slept in an extra hour and that makes us late starting off on our vacation. Have to make up an hour on the 850 mile drive. Will be at mom's late tonight. See you all sometime next week! Play nice.